RAK

Random Acts of Kindess

Wanna change the world?  Stop thinking about yourself for a moment and do something nice for someone today!  ) Whether it’s a kind word to someone, holding the door for someone, letting someone merge into the traffic, buying someone a cup of coffee….whatever it is, JUST DO SOMETHING and DO IT ON PURPOSE!!!

Why?  Well, first of all, it’s just nice and nice people are cool.  Besides that, doing something for someone and not expecting anything in return makes you feel good inside and blesses the person on the receiving end.  It’s a WIN-WIN! Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all put our pride aside and reached out to help someone?  We all face the same problems in life and we all could use a friendly gesture sometimes.  Do your part and you’ll see that one of these days, someone is going to do something nice for you and you’ll totally appreciate it!

Live Life on Purpose!

The best way to make friends…

…is to be one.  How do you want to be treated by potential friends?  When you answer that, do that for others.  If you want to be respected, be respectful.  If you want someone to keep your secrets, keep theirs.  Open your ears and not your mouth. 

I think there are a few stages of friendship: Acquaintances, Situation Friends, Plastic Friends and Real Friends.

Acquaintances are, of course, the people you see on occassion.  You make chit chat when you see each other, but it never really develops into anything new.

Situation friends are the one you see at work, church or other routine type settings.  Those friends are ones you might have a great time with, maybe even share some of your personal issues with, but you never really hang out outside of the fixed environment. 

Plastic friends are the ones that are only your friends when life is good, but they turn on you when things go bad.  They may like you and shmooze you for what they can get from you, like social status for example.

Then, there’s the real deal.  Your Real friends are there for you and you for them no matter what.  I’ve been blessed with some real keepers.  They’re the kind that even though we haven gotten a chance to keep in touch for a few months, when we talk or meet up, it’s like there was no lapse in time.  They are encouraging and inspirational.  They laugh with you when you’re being silly..and sometimes laugh AT you, but you don’t care because you know their just messin’ with you.

I encourage you to BE a good friend and you’ll find you’re never alone in life.

Organizing From the Inside Out (Part 2)

In Part 1 of this series, the focus was on having a good attitude so you could set yourself up for success, not failure.  In this article, SELF-CONTROL is going to be our focus. 

 

What does it mean to have self-control?  Well, it simply means that you are willing to postpone instant gratification.  You’re probably wondering why anyone would want to do that!  We live in a society where we can use credit cards or take out a loan to get what we want right away, no need to wait until we have the cash in hand.  We get upset if we have to wait in line too long at a fast-food joint.  We want things done and we want them done now. 

 

When trying to get organized, this can present a real problem.  You may find yourself looking at the “project” and wishing you had a magic wand to wave so it could just be done.  Well, this is because you are focusing on the means rather than the end.  That means you are, for example, focusing on having to go through your piles of clutter one item at a time rather than how awesome the space is going to look when you’re done.  Have you ever stood around impatiently waiting for that pot of water to boil?  It seems like it takes forever!  But, if you busy yourself with preparing other parts of the meal, then before you know it, the water is boiling and you’re ready to cook.   This idea can be used in probably every area of your life. 

 

The main key to improving your self-control is seeing the big picture. Make a commitment to the big picture and then break it down into smaller parts that you can easily achieve.  Put it in writing, too, so you can see where you’re going and how you’re going to get there, just like a roadmap.  You wouldn’t set out for a trip across the country without knowing how to get there!  Also, imagine what it’s going to be like when your goal is reached!  That will help you stay motivated to keep pressing on. 

 

 Many of us already have great self-control in many areas of our lives.  We show up to work on time, pay bills on time, we keep our houses relatively clean, we take care of our families, we exercise regularly—the list could go on and on.  We all have the capacity  to do what we know we have to do, so we just have to tap into that and apply it to every area of our lives.

 

Practice! Practice! Practice! 

Change YOUR Attitude! (Part 1)

A positive attitude can do wonders for the disorganization in your life.  Without one, you will not be able to set your goals, let alone achieve them.  Negativity and a “failure” mentality set the groundwork for a disorganized and unhappy life.  But, how does one go about making such a change in attitude?  Become victorious rather than victimized.

 The reality of life is that you are responsible for YOU.  You get to make choices that affect how you feel about yourself, your family, friends, job, future-everything.  If you don’t like your life the way it is, do something to change it.  It’s ok to do that.  Your life is yours to do with what you want. 

 First, start appreciating yourself.  Growing up, we are all given labels, some nice like smart, funny or good looking, some more negative and unkind.  The negative ones always seem to be the ones people hold on to.  Well, the truth is, we are not what we’ve been labeled.  We are what we think we are and we can be who we want to be.  Nobody gets to choose that for us.  So, every day, look in the mirror and tell yourself aloud all the positive things you can about yourself.  There are more than you think.  You’re smart, you’re a hard worker, you’re a good spouse and/or parent, whatever you want.  They aren’t lies.  They’ve just been overshadowed by a negative self image, one that you are ready to get rid of.  The more you hear it, the more you’ll believe it.

 Now, start appreciating things around you.  When you are feeling bad about yourself, it’s hard too look around and appreciate the good things in life.  You feel victimized by the world and maybe wonder why everyone else seems to have it so good except you.  The truth is, it’s all in how you see life.  You’ve got a lot to be thankful for.  If you have trouble thinking of things to appreciate and be thankful for, start with the comfy bed you rolled out of this morning, or the warm shower you took, the car that gets you from point A to Point B, the clothes you’re wearing.  There’s just so much people take for granted, but if you take time to appreciate what you have, your outlook will change and you’ll soon notice that you have more and more and that you are a “have” not a “have not”.

 Commit a random act of kindness at least once a week.  Pay for someone’s cup of coffee, or let someone cut in front of you in traffic.  Hold the door for someone.  Do anything, just do it on purpose.  Doing something nice for someone else takes the focus off yourself and, honestly, makes you feel good. 

 Probably everyone has heard that saying “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.”  As cliché as that is, it is true.  Having a positive self image is key to getting everything else in your life to fall in place.

Oh what a scene of troubled teens…(poetry)

Tossed away like out of style jeans, oh what a scene of troubled teens
Looking for love in all the wrong things, oh what a scene of troubled teens
when will we learn as a society
that there’s more to life than you and me
and do what’s right for the kids you see
we must take responsibility
or the grief we’ll make for future’s sake
the lives we break
through the things we take
it’s such a shame
this same old game
who’s to blame
I want there name
And so we keep on feeding
the old folks needing
more money we bets
creates bigger debts
creates huge regrets
but hey….it’s for the vets
do they really need another park
with another plaque
that will sit in the dark
what about the child
that’s growing wild
with the crazy dad
for the life he had
and the long lost dream
of a future man
with a future plan
and a future scheme
and what about the kids around
and the kids downtown
and the way they frown
it’s such a shame
to know their name
and to see them in
to be stuck in sin
to be hooked on drugs
like helpless bugs
under a scope
hung by a rope
and bound by dope
do we help them
nope.

WHEN WILL WE GIVE THE FUTURE OF BERLIN NH THE SAME AS WHAT WE GIVE TO THE PAST GENERATIONS
DO WE NEED ANOTHER MEMORIAL TO REMIND US OF OUR PAST?
DO WE NEED ANOTHER FACILITY TO TAKE CARE OF PAST GENERATIONS?
BUILD MORE FOR THE KIDS!!!
BUILD MORE FOR THE KIDS!!!

By Pastor Joey Roberts www.dcnne.com

Your Problems Are Big To You

I heard that line from someone who heard it from their lawyer and it really stuck with me.  The lawyer was telling this man, who was overwhelmed with bad feelings about his situation, that to him this was an every day occurance.  Just another case, really.  He told the man not to worry about it, just get him the documents he needed and he’d take care of the rest.  Soon it would all ancient history.

It makes me think of how God must think of us.  Our problems are big to us and we scurry around over thinking things, trying this and trying that while making bigger messes of the situation and getting ourselves all worked up about it all.  God has to be like “Trust me, I’ve seen this before and I’ve got your back.  Just trust me and I’ll take care of it.  Soon it will be a thing of the past.” 

 ”Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ” Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious over finances? No.  Be anxious over gas prices? No.  Be anxious about your relationships? No.  Be axious over sickness? No.  Be anxious for NOTHING.  He’ll never forget you because you are the apple of His eye.  He’ll never be too early or too late, but always right on time.

A Fun-eral?

I would suspect that the majority of people view funerals as a sad, depressing reality of life.  Your loved one has passed on and you think of all the moments you will no longer share with him/her.  Well, in our family, we have looked at them in a much different way.  We look at funerals as a time to celebrate the deceased’s life.  Though we mourn the loss, we flip it around to focus on how that person was a blessing to all that knew him/her. 

For example, my Dad, who was the greatest man I ever knew, came down with lung cancer about 10 years back.  He was only 60.  He and my Mom have been my heroes my whole life, I couldn’t ask for any better parents, by the way.  Well, even though Dad was a military man, very strict and stern, he was also full of love and life.  He joked constantly.   My sister used to buy him funny gifts.  One year, she bought him a little box that when you walked by it, it would begin to knock and shake and a voice yelled out, “Excuse me! Excuse me! Will you let me outta here?”  Dad thought that was the greatest thing and set it up in the house so everyone could experience it. 

Dad took all the recommended treatments and even a few that were just experimental, but it became apparent that nothing was working.  When he knew there was no longer hope of him being cured in this life, he decided that he was going to have the last laugh, so he set out to plan his own funeral.   After deciding he would be cremated, he then spoke to our Pastor about how he wanted the service to go.  The Pastor was hesitant to do what he wanted, but Dad made him agree to it and filled us in on the plan.

So, after battling cancer for about a year, the day came that my Dad passed on.  For weeks, maybe months before it happened, I balled almost every moment I was alone, begging for a different outcome.  Imagining life without him was just horrifying.  But, the day of his funeral, I felt an unexpected calmness.  Partly denial, I suppose, and partly taking comfort in knowing he was now at peace. 

There were tons of people at the church.  People were standing all around even out the door because the church was full.  His urn was displayed in the front with a picture of him and an American flag nicely folded next to that.  The Pastor began the funeral and said at one point that Dad had asked him to do something that would make this funeral one they wouldn’t soon forget.  As the church sat silently waiting for the Pastor to go on, he nervously stepped behind the urn and suddenly, “Excuse me! Excuse me! Would you let me outta here?” echoed through the silence.  The shock on people’s faces for the moment before the laughter and tears broke out was hilarious.  We pictured Dad watching on saying “Ha! I got them!”  Next came tons of funny stories from people in the crowd about the times they shared with Dad.  Truly a celebration of his life.

There comes a time in life when we have to decide if we’re going to live it.  That looks like an incomplete thought, but go read it again.  If you, like my Dad, knew death was creeping up on you, how would you react?  What would you do differently?  Guess what…in this life, no one gets out alive.  Death is inevitable, so what are you waiting for?

Laughing at Life

Maybe I’m just one of those people that is wired to laugh at life, or maybe I’ve chosen to.  I don’t know, but to me, life is more funny than devastating.  Yeah, we all have our problems, but finding humor in the midst of them sure makes the down times go by faster.   After all, everything including life, is temporary so why stress over it? 

I remember when I was a teenager, there was this show called Homefront which I think starred Kyle Chandler ( I thought he ROCKED!).  The theme song was that one that says, “You’ve got to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative and don’t mess with Mr. In-between.“  Such a cool perspective, huh?  Apparently, it impacted me because I still remember it all these years later.  Another great song that influenced my attitude was ”Life is just a bowl of cherries. Don’t take it serious, life’s too mysterious.  You work, you save, you worry so, but you can’t take it all when you go.  Life is just a bowl of cherries, so live and laugh at it all.”  That was the song of some commercial years and years ago.  lol see what the media has done to me!?  Something positive for once!

So, when I’m going through a particularly bad time, I think about these lyrics and remind myself that though what I feel is very real, it too will pass.  It helps to keep things in perspective.  It also helps to have good friends and family around to make you laugh.  If you don’t have funny friends, you could always watch something like the Soup or the Best Week Ever.  You just can’t stay bummed out after watching those!!  Or think about the time you weren’t paying attention and walked right into the telephone pole and leveled yourself.  Or the time you had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe and never noticed until that important meeting was over.  Or the time you went to work with two different colored shoes because you go dressed in the dark.  It can’t be just me?!!!

So, here’s my advice.  Don’t sweat the small things in life.  I doubt 25 years after your death, you’ll be remembered as “the person who didn’t pay their taxes on time in July of 1983.”  Hopefully, your legacy will be something more positive like “the one who made a difference in the community” or “the one who always dared to try something new” or ”the one who enjoyed life to the fullest.” 

Lucky you! You get to choose.

“Love is a Verb”

“Don’t marry someone you can live with.  Marry someone you can’t live without.”  I heard that quote recently while watching a documentary on Toby Mac (who rocks, by the way).  It really struck me because I see so many people in unhappy relationships.  I mean, every relationship has its issues, but some relationships are so bad that it makes me wonder what brought them together in the first place.  Even more, I wonder why they stay together. 

 

I work with a lot of very cool teens and hear all their love woes.  I feel for them because they are at a place in life where they want to fit in and feel accepted by another of the opposite sex.  So much so that they compromise their “selves” to be pleasing and gain the affection they’re looking for. One teen told me her boyfriend gets mad and hits her sometimes.  She doesn’t see that as totally wrong.  Several girls have boyfriends who call them nasty, and I mean nasty, names.  One teen boy’s girlfriend cheated on him on several occasions, and he’s ok with taking her back.  Can you see the problem here??

 

The lack of self-respect is amazing.  Unfortunately, that carries over into adulthood sometimes.  Wouldn’t it be great if people were taught when they are young that they are valuable and should be treated with care?  They are valuable even if the cutest guy or girl in school doesn’t give them a glance.  Valuable even if their grades aren’t perfect or they aren’t the best at their sport.  Valuable if they are overweight, wear glasses or have bad teeth.  Most importantly, they should never settle for anyone who thinks otherwise.

 

We are valuable because we were created for a purpose.  Your Creator thought so.  Just read Psalm 139!  That purpose is not so you can be someone’s physical or verbal punching bag.  The person you choose to spend your life with should honor you and cherish you.  They should encourage you to press on when you’re hurt or scared, and comfort you when you’re down.  In other words, their love should be more than words.  As DC Talk noted in one of their songs “Love is a Verb” yes, an action.

 

1 Corinthians 13:4 says “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  And, before you can find such an amazing love with another person, you must learn to love yourself and know YOU are worthy of love just the way you are.

 God thinks so.

Independence Month

Hey America,

Happy Independence Month!  Are you still feeling oppressed by the battles in your life that you just can’t conquer?  It’s about time to get sick of that and do something about it, don’t you think?  Whatever it is you’re battling, you can overcome it!  How?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  By deciding what it is you want and then stopping at nothing to get it.  REFUSE to live this way any longer!  Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Make a written commitment, your own personal Declaration of Independence. 

2. Post your commitment somewhere where you’ll see it constantly, like the fridge or the bathroom mirror.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?

3.  Make a list of goals with reasonable time frames to accomplish them.  Enlist some help if you need to.  A person nicely motivating you will help you press on when you don’t feel like it anymore.

4.  Schedule time in each day to work on your goals.  Treat the time you schedule like it was an important appointment and don’t miss it. 

5.  When you reach a goal, write down the date and reward yourself for a job well done. 

When you look back on all you’ve accomplished, you’ll be able to enjoy a sense of pride.  You might also see that what you thought would take you months to finish only took weeks.